If basil came in perfume form I would wear it. I have actually rubbed it on my wrists while cooking, purchased plants to keep in my kitchen as an air freshener, and now.....made an ice cream showcasing it. Brooke and Basil sitting in a tree......Truthfully I have the same affinity for garlic, but somehow I just don't feel like it would translate. However, if I keep this up long enough, I imagine I'll try it. It's all about that blog content. So to celebrate spring finally arriving let's make Spring Green Ice Cream. Bonus points for serving it in a pretty cup! Don't worry.......that baby only set us back like 67 cents. Christmas Tree Shop.....if I only I could have registered there......
But I digress.....look outside! Flowers are blooming. Birds are making nests. And all the violent and aggressive carpenter bees are in a nice dead pile on the side of the house because this year you swapped out the wooden fascia board they were hiding in all winter with a good ol' impermeable vinyl one that they can't live in. If you've never dealt with a carpenter bee, imagine a shiny buzzing football that "can't hurt you" but is willing to aggressively hover all day----every-day....protecting its nest. Imagine it will dive-bomb your face if you get within a 10 yard proximity to its "home". They also are immune to EVERY insecticide. I swear.....go check! And we had two rival factions on either side of the garage. It was like West Side Story out here.....and we did not want to end up like Tony and Maria.
You missed me didn't you?
SPRING GREEN ICE CREAM
HOW COME THE AUTOMATIC PRODUCE WATER SPRAYER ONLY TRIPS WHEN I STICK MY ARM UNDERNEATH IT? THERE HAS TO BE SOMEONE CONTROLLING THAT:
- 2 cups of basil- Probably the easiest herb to grow at home. So if you want to get all kinds of cooking show props you can grow it in a beautiful wooden herb box in your yard. Then go out and clip it with your cute little matching gloves and herb clippers.
- custard mix- This is the lazy part where I make you click this sentence to find the recipe for custard. Don't forget to grab the 4 eggs, 2 1/2 cups of heavy cream, 1/2 cup of milk, 1/2 cup of sugar, and vanilla.....be it bean or drops for said custard.
- lemoncello- Pick a good one. I can't stress that enough. Bad limoncello can make you act all kinds of crazy-faced. Like that time Danny DeVito did the View after drinking it all night. While it's usually the amount of sugar that gets you in trouble with some booze........(science).........that limoncello might have actually been absinthe-based.
- A good home starts with a good foundation. And custard mix is the foundation of ice cream. So click on the link in the ingredients list, prep your custard and get excited! If custard mix is made while bored, angry, or sad the results could be catastrophic. (Like the "Perfect Strangers" Bibbi-Bopka incident of 1988.) Tipsy Cones LLC can not be held liable for any injury, perceived or actual, incurred while taunting or upsetting desserts....especially those infused with alcohol.
- And why would we let that custard mix chill alone? We don't want to leave it there hanging like that. So reduce a cup's worth of syrupy limoncello to 2/3 of a cup of even SYRUPIER (Yeah....new word, Auto Correct.....deal with it.) limoncello. Let it cool then pop it in the fridge to chill.
- Did I mention that we need a really high powered blender? No? Well we do! Make sure it costs at least $240. If not then you may have to strain basil bits out using a strainer. Don't worry. You can use it for margaritas, too. Seems worth it. Anyway.....grab your bunch of basil and rip the leaves of the stems in one big twist. Make a grunting noise to show Player 2 how strong you are, then flex your bicep to let them know that they chose well. Ignore their ruckus laughter. Pour in your chilly limoncello and blend until smooth.
- Add the custard mix to the green goop and mix well. Then pour this whole sha-bang into the ice cream machine. Turn it on and start singing "Higher and Higher" by Jackie Wilson. Listen....It worked for Ghostbusters II. You don't want the face of Vigo in your ice cream any more than you want it randomly exploding in your face. And these are your options because sometimes salt over the shoulder just won't cut it. Weird? Maybe but my blog.......my superstitions.
- Once the ice cream starts to look like your yard in ice cream form and pull away from the sides of the machine, you know that it's ready. So scrape it out into a freezer safe container and cover the surface with plastic wrap to protect your spring green ice cream from potential frost. Pop on a lid and put it into the freezer. In about 4-6 hours your head will explode from deliciosity.
If you like refreshing mint flavors, then this is so up your alley. It's the perfect way to celebrate the spring or the reclamation of your back and side yards from the tyrannical clutches of psychotic carpenter bees! It's your time now, baby!
Hmmmm.....Wait....you guys don't think they can move into the porch do you?
Makes enough for 3-4 people, technically.
Makes enough for 2 people, realistically.
Makes enough for me, oh definitely.